On our ‘Home Page’ we mentioned that using cooking as a hobby we can switch off from stress and look at the problem later on with a fresh look. In addition to this it would help if we have some understanding of what causes stress and stops us being able to be happy. So we have decided to write about ‘Happiness’ and how to configure ‘Happiness’.

To configure happiness we shall look into unhappiness first. Let us say that an absence of pleasure is unhappiness. So we can conclude that if we know how to organise our life where there is always pleasure in living, we will never be unhappy. Is this possible? Some philosophers would say yes; it is possible. And we are going to explore that here.

The following experiences bring us unhappiness:

1) Anxiety                        2) Fear of Failure              3) Pressure to Conform

4) Lack of Money             5) Pain of Love                 6) Feeling of Inadequacy

Unfortunately, our mental faculties are always hard at work (even in sleep) providing us with new scenarios for action. But not all are realistic. To avoid unhappiness we have to learn to make a deliberate choice. This choice will be based on the following criteria:

What is natural and essential

What is natural but not essential

What is not natural and not essential

Using these criteria all human desires can be curtailed to a realistic level thus avoiding the main sources of unhappiness.

We also mentioned on our ‘Home Page’ that cooking as a hobby can assist us to make new friends. Epicurus and his friends, who lived around 300 BC, taught us something which is still true today. They listed three ideas necessary to live a happy life:

       1) Friendship                    2) Freedom                          3) Thought.

They argued that if you have friends and no money you could be happy.  But if you have money and no friends then you are not a happy person.

Again they argued that if you have money and no freedom (salaried persons) then your happiness is limited. On the other hand, an artist, a businessman, a film-maker, or a writer can exercise much more freedom than the first group.

Thought and communicating thought to others are very important in relieving anxiety. By writing down a problem or telling it to a friend, we bring its essential aspects to emerge. This helps to evaluate what is natural and essential and it leads to better decision-making.

In thought processing, when there is no freedom we could experience roadblocks, but we must not give in to responses like rage, self-pity, bitterness, self-righteousness and paranoia. We must not expect our world to be as fair as we think ought to be. Our greatest fury springs from events which violate our sense of the ground rules of existence and at times there is nothing else we can do but to resort to mutiny.

Throughout history, the wisdom of philosophers discouraged mutiny. Like a dog on a leash, if you protest about being forcibly lead and bite out of frustration, you will be punished. Consider this: Humans are gifted with thought – that we can use, but we have to wait for the right time or use our thought intelligently – to escape from bondage. In short, play games as we see humans are playing with each other (in relationship) all the time.

Value of Hope

There would only be a few human achievements if we accepted all frustrations without action. The mental faculties which go on searching for alternatives are hard to stop. They continue to play new scenarios of change and progress even when there is no hope of altering reality.

Satisfaction in Unpopularity.

Every society has notions of what one should believe and how one should behave in order to avoid suspicion.

Progress in society comes from change. We know Socrates was unpopular in Greek society for his views but he did not give up. He preferred to die (drinking hemlock) rather than change his views. Aristotle had to leave Athens in fear for his life and returned home when it was safe to do so. In 1940, Gandhi alone believed that non-violence is the right way to make a point to the British that their time is up in India and they should leave. Tagore, a noble-prize winner poet and philosopher of India, wrote in one of his poems “You must march alone if no one responds to your call when your cause is truth and justice”.

Final Remarks.

Intuitively we know when we are happy. So we focused on analysing the causes of unhappiness and how to train our mind to avoid the pitfalls in times of stress. The first sign of unhappiness is anxiety and it may be responsible for any of the other five reasons we have mentioned. Living in a society such as ours, there is a safety net for ‘lack of money’ problem. Again, for ‘pressure to conform’, we have a legal system to ameliorate any excess. For the other three problems, we are totally dependent on friends and thought and our ability to understand what should be a realistic goal – for achievement and pleasure.